"So what are you and your husband up to for Valentine's Day?" asks my co-worker in this saccharine-sweet voice bordering on annoying and demeaning, which, if not for the fact that I have to work with her everyday and have to maintain a nice working relationship with, I would have answered in the most bitchy tone " It's not your frackin business". Instead I opted to reply in my nice-saccharine sweet voice bordering on annoying and demeaning "Oh, we're newly married! Everyday is Valentine's Day... We'll probably just have a nice dinner and cuddle afterwards", followed by a nice smile.
Valentine's day is the most annoying of all "celebration" days, a day where men are expected to buy expensive jewelery and chocolates or so help them God, won't get laid in the next 10 years and be the object of scorn by their significant others, all part of the huge clusterfuck of Great Expectations for Great Relationships and How to Survive This Mad, Mad World. It is truly insane. And it does not help that the commercials, a month before the day are relentless...
"Buy here the necklace she'll keep forever" - but not you
"The 7 stone diamond ring... For all the memories...past, present and future" - whatever happened to the 3 stone diamond ring?
"The Heart Pendant. Show her that you care" - a nice massage would work the same
... and so on and so forth.
The main message in all of these are the same: Buy her the most expensive jewelery now so she'll forgive you for your transgressions later. This is your only chance to redeem yourself.
Valentine's day is demeaning for everyone. For the men, who are expected to buy their significant others all the useless crap (lotions and potions, jewelery and chocolates, flowers and lingerie, stuffed toys to name a few) and for the women, who had to stuff themselves with the chocolates and force their bodies in the lingeries and are expected to "put out" that day. You don't buy your wife or GF something because you're expected to, but because you want to, and similarly, wives and GFs should not be obligated to do things they're not supposed to want to just because of a certain day. St. Valentines would be horrified.
So this year, just like every year for the past 5 years, my husband and I are not celebrating or buying anything on the 14th. We'll start the day just like any other day, a warm kiss before going to work, IMs throughout the day, come home from work and have a normal dinner, talk about the day's events, a nice long cuddle and a kiss to end the day. No big meals or expensive trinkets, no chocolates or bonbonnieres. Just plain old lovin.
Happy Valentine's day, everyone!
Friday, February 8, 2008
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